The Day You Went Away
by MissToastie
Summary: "Death is harder on those who are left behind." - Robert La Fosse. - One shot. Character Death. Suicide references. Grief. Jane Maura friendship only. And a serious author note.


**A few weeks ago I was asked if I would consider writing a fic about Frost committing suicide. I wasn't going to write it until today I was some-what inspired to write it. I apologize if you are the person who requested this and it doesn't live up to the standards you expected. It was something I sat down to write and didn't plan for it to go this way at all. **

**This will be a one shot, and I warn people now that this story mentions suicide and character death. The story also briefly delves into grieving and how people often react to the loss of a loved one bye Suicide. I unfortunately have been in this place before, both having lost someone to suicide, and seeing someone who has lost someone to suicide. **

**- MT.**

* * *

"Vince, Rizzoli," Sean Cavanaugh stood in the doorway of the bull pen, his stomach flipped and his heart began to race. "Can you both join me in my office, please?"

"Aw, just as we were starting on all of these reports," Jane stood, and smirked in Korsak's direction as she walked by his desk. "What a bummer!"

"Yeah, real shame you need us right now, Sean!" Korsak chuckled and walked behind Jane as they entered Cavanaugh's office.

Sean closed the door and gestured for his colleague's to be seated. He began to fiddle with clammy hands as he walked to his chair and began to mentally prepare himself for the earth shattering news he was about to deliver.

"You alright, Cavanaugh?"

"Yeah, you look a little pale," Korsak noted how nervous his colleague and friend sat. "What's going on, Sean?"

"Last night, Camille Frost notified local police in Virginia that she hadn't seen Detective Frost in 15 hours, and informed them that he hadn't been answering her phone calls, and failed to meet his mother and her wife for dinner that evening," Cavanaugh paused momentarily.

"Frost's missing?" Korsak leaned forward in his chair. "You gotta let us fly to Virginia and help look for him!"

"This morning I received a phone call from my friend Mike Harrison from Homicide in Virginia,"

"Homicide?" Jane's voice failed her as she choked the word out. "They don't think Frost's a murder or some shit do they? He wouldn't hurt a soul unless they hurt him first!" Jane began to defend her friend.

"Can both of you stop interrupting me, this is hard enough without you two trying to finish my sentences!" Sean kept his calm, and waited for both detectives to settle before continuing. "Police were requested to the hotel where Detective Frost was staying as they discovered the body of a deceased male in one of the rooms." Cavanaugh looked up and locked eyes with both Jane and Korsak, their eyes began searching his. "The deceased had a single gunshot wound in his right temple through to his left; and a gun in his right hand. At 3:30 this morning, Camille Frost confirmed that the body was that of Detective Frost's."

"Is this some sick joke, Sean?" Korsak's words spat with venom as he stood up and slammed his hand flat on the table. "Did Frost set you up to this? Is this some candid camera crap that he's pulling?" Tears began to fill his eyes.

Jane sat staring at one spot on Cavanaugh's desk; her body grew numb, her words were lost.

"I wish I could say it was, Vince." Cavanaugh rubbed his forehead and held back tears.

"What are they saying? The kid topped himself? Bullshit, utter, utter bullshit!" Korsak stood and kicked his chair backwards. Anger taking over. "Let'us fly there, Sean! Show Virginia's homicide how to do their damn jobs! Some bastard is getting away with murder, here!"

"An autopsy was performed by a highly skilled Doctor and his team, the Virginia Homicide, and police department have thoroughly investigated the scene. Hallway surveillance camera's show Frost entering the building, and no one else entering until the owner went to check on him at the request of Mrs. Frost."

"Then they went out the window, Sean!"

"Vince, he was 15 stories high with no window entry or exits available," Sighing inwardly, Cavanaugh looked to Jane who still sat in the one spot, not uttering a word. "I'm sorry, but I needed to let you two know separately to the rest of the department."

"Did he leave a note?" Korsak asked with his back turned to Sean.

"No note was found. No reason as to why he did this." Cavanaugh stood and walked around to sit on his desk, placing a hand on Jane, who jumped from the sudden contact. "You okay, Rizzoli?"

Jane looked up at him and managed to nod. She stood up and wrapped her arms around herself, needing comfort, needing support, needing to feel.

"I called the rest of the department to a meeting in the bull pen at 12:30," Looking at the clock that hung above his door. 12.40. "If you two don't want to be out there, I understand."

Doctor Maura Isles sat patiently waiting at her best friend's desk; the ever so punctual Doctor had been waiting for 20 minutes so far, due to always needing to be 10 minutes early for everything. So she sat at Jane's desk and began to clean and tidy away until the sound of Cavanaugh's door opening and Korsak walking out to his desk made her stop and stare.

Looking up, she watched as Sean Cavanaugh, and Jane walked out from Cavanaugh's office. The look on Jane's face scared Maura; her friend looked distant and lost. She stood up and excused herself to the front, she was about to get her friends attention as Sean cleared his throat.

"If everybody could please stop what they are doing and pay attention to me, it would be much appreciated." Sean's clammy hands returned as he rubbed them together in front of himself. As the room fell quiet, he proceeded. "It is with great difficulty and regret that I have to inform everybody in the room that in the early hours of the night, Detective Barry Frost took his own life while visiting family in Virginia."

Gasps echoed the bull pen, breaking Jane from her current stare. Hearing it again for a second time, seemed to have more of an impact on her than the first. She dragged her eyes up the body of the person who stood in front of her; tears forming for the first time as she noticed who stood in front of her, wanting to hold her. Her lips quivered as an uncontrollable sob left her throat as she lunged forward into the arms of the waiting woman in front of her.

"Maura." Jane choked out.

"I'm here." Maura soothed and held Jane for dear life. "I'm here."

* * *

After receiving orders to take the rest of the week off, Jane entered her apartment in what would be described "zombie mode." Ignoring the joyful yap's coming from her tiny friend, Jane made her way to her lounge and flopped down.

Maura, who had also taken the rest of the day off (and most likely the rest of the week, too.), walked over to Jane's cupboard, pulled out a glass and pulled the jug of water from the fridge to fill the glass before grabbing a beer and walking to join Jane. "I promise you can have this beer right after you drink the water, okay?"

"He shot himself." Jane mumbled.

"He did," Maura placed both drinks on the coffee table in front of them so she was able to place her hand on Jane's knee. "Yes."

"He killed himself."

The Doctor nodded quietly and wrapped both of her hands around Jane's left hand. Knowing that this was Jane's way of trying to understand the situation - if there was anyway of understanding it.

"He has been my partner for the last five years, and I had no idea he felt like this."

"Like what?"

"Like...this!" Jane gestured with her right hand. "I was his partner for five years, a detective, I'm a damn detective and I had no fucking idea that my partner, my friend, wanted to end his own life!"

"You aren't to blame, Jane." Maura soothed.

"How am I not? I spent almost every day with him, we hung out after work hours," Jane yanked her hand from Maura's and stood up. "I took him to the fucking airport Friday afternoon! I didn't even know he took his gun with him, how did he take his gun on the plane?"

"He probably used his badge, Jane. I don't know." Maura silently cursed herself, feeling useless, wanting to say something, anything to let Jane know she's not to blame. But right now, right in this very moment, it was not the time for random facts about suicide and why most people end their lives.

"What was going through his mind, Maura?" Tears poured down Jane's face like an unstoppable waterfall. "What selfish damn thoughts were going through his mind for him to pick up a gun, hold it to his temple, and blow the damn trigger?!" Jane shouted, and kicked the coffee table in front of her with a powerful anger-filled kick.

Maura jumped as she watched the table flip in front of her, the beer and water flying and smashing in the process. She noted a scared Jo Friday scurrying into the kitchen with her tail between her legs.

"Fuck!" Rizzoli screamed and turned around to the shelf above her heater. Picking up the photo of her and Frost, she held it as she sunk to the floor. "Why didn't he talk to me? I would have helped him; I would have done anything to keep him alive!"

"Jane, you can't blame yourself." Tears filled Maura's eyes as she shifted from the lounge, to sit on the floor with her broken friend. Tears from losing a friend, and tears from watching Jane struggle and blame herself.

"I can blame myself, Maura." Jane opened her eyes and looked at the photo she held close before raising it above her head and throwing it across her apartment, causing the glass in the frame to smash over the kitchen floor. "I hate him!" She screamed.

"Oh no, no, no," Maura leaped forward and straddled Jane; she wrapped her arms around her grieving friend, holding her close and rocking her back and forth. "You don't hate him, you don't hate him."

"I do!" Jane clung onto her friend and held her close.

"You're saying it out of anger, Jane." The Doctor clenched her eyes closed as Jane's grip tightened around her waist.

"He was my bud." Jane sobbed into Maura's neck; her heart was in pain.

"I know." Maura moved back and kissed Jane once, twice, three times on her forehead. "He always will be your bud, okay? He will always be looking over you Jane."

"Never leave me," The brunette mumbled against the blonde's shoulder. "Please never leave me."

"I won't," Moving her fingers gently through wild hair, Maura listened as Jane's breaths evened out; the crying, and anger finally exhausting the detective into sleep. "I'll help you get through this, I promise."

* * *

_The End._

* * *

**On a very serious note -**

**Suicide is far too common in this world for my liking. People are questioning their existence all the time, questioning whether or not they are worthy of living, questioning how they are going to end their life.**

**If you are someone who struggles with suicidal thoughts, I beg of you to not end your life. Your life is worth living, you are worthy of living, you are worthy of a good life, you deserve happiness, and you do not deserve death. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You may not think you taking your life will have an impact on somebody, but I absolutely 100% guarantee you that you ending your life will cause somebody so much pain and hurt and heart break.**

**If you are reading this and need somebody to talk to about how you are feeling, I am available for contact on Twitter as 'MissToastie', Tumblr as 'sashaalexanderisalesbianatheart', Private Messaging on here, and further more, my email can be supplied to you if you ask me in a private place.**

**Reviews are always loved - and if you're feeling generous, I have been nominated by you lovely readers for Rizzles Fan Awards in the categories of "Best Author", "Best Angst" (My Maura - MissToastie), "Best Plot" (Baby Hold On - MissToastie), and "Best Unfinished" (My Maura - MissToastie).**

******Thank you, and I hope everyone is doing okay.**


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